Precocious Pipe Dreams

Ugh.

2011-03-06T19:39:00.000-08:00

Sometimes people are just really, really stupid. Sometimes I'm one of those people. Today, though, I am finding it very difficult to keep myself from bashing the stupid people in my life and their stupid decisions. Loving idiots is hard work.

A present for your eyes.

2011-02-05T22:15:00.000-08:00

Hatred.

2010-12-07T21:13:00.000-08:00

Why is it so hard for me to be vulnerable? I feel like a retard.

Slap in the lap of luxury!

2010-11-17T11:41:00.000-08:00

Wanna indulge? CARSE YA DOO.

Recipe for a mug of holiday cheer! :
3/4 hot milk, 1/4 eggnog, 2 Tbsp peppermint syrup, 1 Tbsp hot chocolate mix, top it off with whipped cream and a shake of red sugar sprinkles! YUMZ. optional side of gingerbread cookies.

Try it, you'll like it! That is if you think you can handle it.

PS. Yes, this is what I do when I am home alone. Not school, sorry Dad.
(Are you wonka savvy?)

One less uneducated boy.

2010-11-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

I often feel obligated to educate young people. Today I educated Joshua on the topic of Justin Bieber. First, I asked him if he had heard of him. He said “Yes, Justin Bieber has swooshy hair,” but he couldn’t recall the sound of his voice. A bit later this evening, I played some sweet Bieb tunez in the background while we did homework together, avoiding any discussion of who the angelic singer was. When a few songs had been played, I asked Josh if he liked it. He said it was ok. I asked, “Do you think he’s a good singer?” That’s when the fun began. He made a face and said, “That’s a GUY? I thought it was a woman!” A few more songs passed and he said, “I don’t like this anymore. He’s gay.”
Although I did not create a new Bieberfan, I believe my work here is done. I have broadened his musical horizon one step further. Next step: MJ

10% Relief, 90% Humiliation

2010-11-07T20:54:00.000-08:00

Coming clean is hard. Ignorance was bliss. Annoying bliss, but bliss nevertheless. Now it's shattered, and both the annoyance and the bliss are gone. Was it worth it... ? :/

"man, its cold! i need to get my uggs and north face out..."

2010-11-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

WHY IS IT SO COLD.
today I played a Christmas song on the piano.
it's only november.
but it's ok.

Yeah.

2010-10-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

I’d like to apologize for being just really bad at communicating in general. Some of you may be thinking, "Is it really so hard to just say what's on your mind?"
Well... Yes, yes it is. I tend to (very inconveniently) become incredibly bashful when I'm talking about actually important things, and I often prefer to listen and think rather than respond...But I'm not apathetic. I realize that I probably appear that way a lot, but I'm not. Sorry about that.

torn..

2010-08-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

you are stupid and dumb and cute and funny but mostly stupid and dumb.

Yikes.

2010-08-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

4 months, dangit. I'm really bad at this blog thing. Not that anyone reads it anyway, but if I had avid followers they would be sobbing tears of joy right now, because I'm about to fill in the gap with a lengthy, long-awaited post. Sorry bout the wait, fans.
The end of summer is drawing closer once again. (WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?) I've done some cool things these past sweaty months. Near the beginning of summer, we went to the zoo, the science center, and all over Forest Park all in the same day. That was a super sweaty day, to say the least... Really though, it was a fun day. I like that group of people, and I'm excited beyond normalcy to get to know them this school year.
Ian & I, with the help of some very important adults who have yet to be thanked sufficiently, coordinated a benefit concert. Bequia Live was a huge success, and I have a feeling that it may become a tradition.
Toy Story 3 was my first 3D movie. Those things are ridiculously expensive... but it was a good movie, despite the horrifying monkey and other scary parts.
I went on a road trip to NY with my parents and Josh. It was not thrilling, but I milked all the fun I could get out of it. I read Paper towns, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone while on the road. They were great. and I bought a sort of melodica flute "piano horn" at Cracker Barrel. I would say that was $4.99 well-spent. I love that thing.
Most significantly, I went to Bequia. It was an amazing trip, and I learned a lot about the culture, about purity and modesty and sexual abuse and everything in between, about my friends' spiritual lives, tempers, sleep patterns, hygienic routines, and the way they look with cornrows. I learned how to form fast friendships with people who intimidate me, how to tell the difference between a banana and a plantain, how to catch a Bequian taxi, how to make a complicated friendship bracelet in 8 minutes (!), and how to deal with absolutely no air conditioning. The heat and mosquitoes were brutal, the ocean was beautiful, and the fellowship with the church was real. 10 days I will never forget.
So anyway, I... am kinda bored of blogging. maybe I'll write more some other time. Or maybe it'll be another 4 months. Who knows :)

Summer Bucket List

2010-04-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight we made a Summer Bucket List. I am so uber excited (and I hate that adjective, so you know I really mean it)!!! Now I can’t WAIT for summer. One of the things we came up with was a Bequia benefit show, to raise money for the mission trip. :) Doesn’t that make you excited?! We had close to 30 things on there, including: go roller skating, take a no-destination road trip for a day, make Anna's EP (which i am also ridiculously thrilled about), and plan a grocery store musical. I am so determined to make sure that this summer will not be boring or uneventful. (we'll see how that goes)

Quotes for today.

2010-04-10T11:31:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I find it greatly refreshing to reread conversations I've had with people:

Andrew: how is stuff and things? i miss you tenderly.
Me: well, school is a butthole of death. when are you coming home? I miss you Sentimentally.

Me: the millisecond that the mitten is in his mouth is like Heaven on Earth. haha. no really, it tickles my soul.
Ian: You and your cliches...

Spring is here.

2010-04-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP-KFnYg6Hw&safe_search=on
Still cracks me up.

On a more serious note, I really love Easter. I've grown up knowing the true reason for the holiday, but I don't think I ever actually cared that much. But recently I've developed a new attitude towards what we celebrate every year. It's so cool!

For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16

:D I've known all of this ever since I was little but I have a renewed appreciation now... and I think it's ironic that non-christians celebrate Easter, too.

I want this:
media.photobucket.com/image/lamb%20cake%20pan/XSugar333/Cake%20Stuff%20For%20Sale/LambPan.jpg?o=5
so that i can make this:
media.photobucket.com/image/lamb%20cake/heathermc_cakes/religious/CIMG1348.jpg?o=22

Extinguish my eyes

2010-03-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

This morning I was exploring a Leonard Bernstein songbook, and I came across something lovely. I don't much care for the song itself, but I really love the lyrics.

Extinguish my eyes, I still can see you:
Close my ears, I can hear your footsteps fall:
And without feet, I still can follow you:
Voiceless, I can still return your call.

Break off my arms, and I can embrace you:
Enfold you with my heart as with a hand:
Hold my heart, my brain will take fire of you,
As flax takes fire from a brand!

And flame will sweep in a flood:
Through all the singing currents of my blood.

I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep.

2010-03-08T23:12:00.000-08:00

I don’t feel like I have a lot on my mind, and I haven’t had caffeine in more than 12 hours. What’s going onnnnn?? I mean I’m tired but not sleepy. Maybe I’m on a sugar rush. I guess I did just drink a steamer with entirely too much raspberry syrup. Or maybe I really do have a lot on my mind.. I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not to try out for a solo in my choir. The tryouts are tomorrow (today I guess, technically) but I’m still undecided… The first verse is good; it’s a soulful variation of Amazing Grace. But I’m not sure about the second verse:

Must Jesus bear the cross alone and all the world go free? No, there’s a cross for everyone, and there’s a cross for me!

Is that Biblical? Now, I’ve pondered this for like a million years, and the closest thing I can get to the meaning is that it’s referring to Matthew 16:24. But I’m still struggling with the wording. Shouldn’t the answer be YES? I am free! That is the message of gospel, am I right?....

Where is Dave Gill when you need him? Haha.

"You're tall enough to be a fairy godmother!"

2010-03-06T20:01:00.000-08:00

Today, I taught a 4-year-old how to ballroom dance. Because, as an experienced teenager, I obviously am a master in that area. Then we got married.

demolition

2010-02-17T12:50:00.000-08:00

They finally decided to demolish that old house on my street. I'm glad... Probably druggies and criminals and wild animals were living in there. It's really sad though because my friend used to live there, but her family got evicted because the house was unsafe. After she moved, we stopped being friends...
I do feel safer now, but it's unsettling to watch a demolition ball go through my childhood friend's house.
Anyway. I was watching it all happen as my mom drove us up the street, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a person staring at us through their window. I FREAKED out, and then I realized that it was Xena the Warrior Princess. Hahaha. :)

Darn my luck;

2010-02-15T19:21:00.000-08:00

I got soap in my eye.

Wonderland?

2010-02-11T13:30:00.000-08:00

http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/slideshow?id=9491841
#19 is my favorite. what's yours?

Secrets Disclosed

2010-01-28T19:12:00.000-08:00

For those of you who have just been DYING to see Anna's and my secret music video, I finally summoned the courage to upload it to Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsGn0_C8td0

sweet nothing.

2010-01-03T16:43:00.000-08:00

I guess I'm just not a big fan of blogging. I don't like to talk about deep things on here, anyway. It makes me feel... vulnerable. And I am a lot better at writing extensive lists rather than paragraph after paragraph of things I've been up to lately. I'm not too good at putting my thoughts together in a way that is enjoyable to read. So, pardon me for avoiding it. (Not that I'm trying to change :P)
Right now I'm listening to Below the Fold: Best of 2009. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm liking every song that has played so far. Oh... ok, apparently it is a 2009 indie music playlist... Anyway, it's nice to listen to.
I watched Rent for the millionth time today! I just love that musical, although it is rather obscene. I hope you all get the chance to see it, because it is so great. I wouldn't recommend only listening to the soundtrack, though, because as much as I adore the music, it's just better when you see the context. Plus, the movie is so well done; whoever designed it had a good eye for beautiful things. And Angel is the best ever.
If anyone was wondering, my Christmas and Winterfest and New Year were fantastic. :)

I can't even decide whether this is creepy or cute. Maybe it's both.
Lattes! Giant Cupcakes! Best friends! Candles! YAY! :)
The best hot chocolate I have ever had in my liffffffe. Thanks to Andrew ;)

Freakin makes me cry every time.

2009-12-24T13:52:00.000-08:00

Oh, and when will our heartbeats fall into two lines?
And the click-clack of our boot heels beat out the same time?
Oh, and when will your hand find itself in mine?

And though I don't know your real name,
Your real age, or your shoe size,
I will leave this bedroom chair
And this keyboard behind

And I will love you in reality and dreams

I'll kiss my lips and I'll blow it to you
It'll be the last thing that I ever do
And wherever you go and whatever you do,
There's a man underground that will always love you.

2009-12-22T12:51:00.000-08:00

Someone told me once that foreigners sometimes stop americans in the airport as they are entering the country and ask for a common english name that they can call themselves while they are in the country. I was remembering this a little while ago and wondered what I would say if it ever happened to me. Would I give them my name? That would be a little narcissistic, but kinda cool.
I'm just curious: What would you name your foreign friend?

ALSO: does anyone in the world have boots that I can borrow for Winterfest?

“dang i love it when people take my status to heart.”

2009-12-08T23:05:00.000-08:00

I always feel a little bit scandalous when I wear my bathrobe, even though it is very long and a nice, powdery shade of blue (not sexy at all), and I am wearing clothing underneath. Nonetheless, I know that all of the imaginary stalkers under my bed are oohing and ahhing at how incredibly sexy I look in my grandma bathrobe.
…
On a completely different note, I had the pleasure of watching Gran Torino today. Despite the relentless cussing (77 F-words, GEEZ), it was an amazing movie. I could not stop laughing and I cried more than once, at an actually sad thing… It's rare but it happens. I’m usually one of those people who can watch a heart-wrenching movie and not a single tear will fall, but you show me something lovely, like one of those typical “happy” scenes when the young couple is running toward each other through a field of wildflowers, or a new daddy holding his little girl, or even just a sweet moment between an old couple, and you will make a sobbing mess of me. I always surprise myself when these occasions present themselves; somehow I just never anticipate my reaction, although you would think I’d have learned by now. Hm… Well I’m gunna go to bed now… ha. Good night. ♥

Symmetry

2009-11-24T16:39:00.000-08:00

Symmetry is supposedly what makes a face beautiful...I've seen several versions of this idea and I thought I'd give it a try. It looks kind of freaky, especially in the second one (But that may be due to my choice of photo). I think the pictures would have turned out more convincing if I had pinned my bangs back, because now I have a v-shaped hair line. (Hahaha)

chim chim cheree!

2009-11-19T19:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I baked stuff!

I am watching Star Trek... squealing over Pavel Chekov and gazing into Chris Pine's dreamy eyes. This is a good movie, with lots of nice looking people. hehe.

This is why I love the Honesty Box application.

2009-11-11T10:42:00.000-08:00

andrew......you are one of the fattest creatures that has waddled the planet earth. and i mean it. god bless you, man.

awwww... why thank you! :D

bro. you are so welcome. there's nothing i enjoy more, than complimenting your body type.

:) hey anytime you want to... go ahead ;)

Thoughts for today.

2009-11-09T21:26:00.000-08:00

· I’ve been listening to the Christmas music station way too much already. I know I'm a freak, and that I’ll probably get sick of all of those songs before it’s even December, but man, I’m just so excited that it’s almost Christmastime! Ahhh!
· Last night I realized that I have several semiformal occasions coming up and I got way too excited about picking out cute outfits for them all. Haha.. I’m such a girl. It’s so fun.
· Auditions for Children of Eden are approaching, FAST! I have like, 4 monologues still and I need to pick one by Wednesday at 4:45pm and I need some serious guidance on the choosing part. I’m so indecisive!
· I’m seriously considering some other form of schooling for next semester, because I’ve rediscovered how FREAKING hard it is to homeschool myself, and I’m kind of a slacker. I don’t really want to go to West. But if I can’t force myself to read about the history of America, I will take these stupid matters into my own stupid hands.
· I’m helping plan a Disney Princess (and prince)- themed recital for next semester, which will guest star lots of singers *hint, hint* so let me know if you are the least bit interested in singing a solo/duet… Even if you’re not into performing, I’d appreciate song recommendations! And if all else fails, you could just attend the recital, if it ends up happening at all. It’s pretty early in the planning stages so it might not…
· Taco bell nachos (maybe nachos in general) pretty much give you the worst breath EVER. Or at least the worst tasting. Haha... Just so you know. Don’t eat them before a date. Hahaha.
· My bff from STLCC has mono. Oh no! Now I have to make an effort to talk to people again! AUGHH.
· I went to Andrea's birthday party tonight. We had so much fun and we (well, some of us) drank pretend scotch and wrote letters to our little children. I'm so thankful for all of them.

Ok, that’s enough thoughts for today. Good night! I love you!

you don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me.

2009-11-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

You probably all think by now that I am a very flaky* blogger, for which I am sorry. To be honest, I do I have plenty of things to say, but I usually end up posting them in a private blog so that my insecurities and hopes and dreams aren’t all in the open for the prying eyes of my fellow stalkers. That idea sorta makes me uncomfortable. Haha. All of that to say, I wish I had more to share with you all, but… well, there's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

PS. Do you like my banner?! I totally forgot that that picture existed. thanx anna.

*by this adjective, I mean unreliable...not crusty.

teasing people with speech impediments is like cheating at candyland.

2009-10-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

“Hey Authtin—oh, thorry! Did I interrupt thomething? We you guyth having a moment?!”

We looked, first at her, and then at each other. He had (pardon my lame phraseology) a “twinkle in his eye” and I was certain that we were thinking the same thing.

“YEAH, Audrey,” he said, “way to interrupt our moment.”

“Ahh! Thorry guyth! Pleathe continue. I’ll jutht wait.”

We stifled our laughs and pretended to resume our conversation, which in reality had started trailing off before she had even entered the room. She waited patiently until our small talk became smaller.

“Tho… uh. Hmm. Can I dthion in on your converthathion?”

We started cracking up and said yes, not explaining a thing.

These are the things that make math class bearable.

did you know what?!

2009-09-04T18:08:00.000-07:00

(i love grammar.)
A good cure for the generic killer tummy ache, is to put your entire body and mind into memorizing a nice sonata.
Also, I thought you might like to know what is going on in my life, since I never post anything: hmm, so.. school is great this year. I have so much freetime now that I'm not always working on pointless assignments just to please Ms.Serena. My mom is super laid back about this--and if you know my mom, that's a shocker--and most of the time all I have to do each day is 5 pages of grammar and 1/4 chapter of history, and a few chapters of lit. Then there's FloValley...I honestly didn't think I'd say this, but I really like it..? Spanish is great. My teacher is crazy, and funny, and super outgoing, and I've learned a lot of Spanish in two weeks. Intermediate Algebra is way easy. I did horribly on the "Accuplacer" test, so this is like the stupid kid class. At least it's only a semester... but! I've made a friend. And I hope it's not just because I'm "good at math."
Providence Orchestra is good. Mrs. Terri chose some good songs, and now that I've finally decided to make an effort to be friends with the other cellists, I realize that although they can be annoying, they're really nice people. One thing I will always struggle to tolerate, however, is when musicians "perform" for the entire orchestra before class starts and when everyone else is tuning and warming up.
Providence Choir... uh... we're not so good this year. I'm going to leave it at that.
And Dayspring! Musical Theater is primarily junior high girls, but that's alright with me. Hopefully I'll have a chance at a bigger part this year... who knows...
Voice with Becca is great. I like her, a LOT! She's super cool, and although I've been warned by a mutual friend (lol) that she tries really hard to be, I'm ok with that. If you try to be cool and succeed, what's the problem? PLUS, she's cute. Haha.
OK! So that's pretty much what is happening in my life. Thank you for reading. You can expect another in about a month, haha... :/

Josh: "WHOA! this battle rifle is so epic!"
Me: "hey Josh, do you know what epic means?"
Josh: "uh.. kind of... but I don't know how to use it correctly in a sentence."
:D Haha. He's so honest.

PS. i've just decided that jason mraz is on of the most talented musicians ever.

Emily Loves Saturday.

2009-08-08T20:43:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up to a huge, hot breakfast, as well as a kitchen full of bikers. I was appreciative and highly amused. Haha, Turns out the boys and some friends were taking a morning motorcycle trip… later this afternoon, Andrea arrived! She is so beautiful. She looks like Taylor Swift with red hair. I can’t wait til I can call her a sister :D

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I picked up Anna Karenina today and read four or five chapters, and, oh wow. I LOVE IT. I was pretty intimidated by the size of the book (it’s three inches thick!), but I think I’m going to enjoy reading it. It’s my first literature book for school this year. Mom’s letting me choose my own books! That way, I’ll be more likely to actually READ the book rather than looking it up on sparknotes like I did for half the books last year. Plus, if I end up hating it, it’ll be my own dang fault, so my mom won’t have to put up with my complaints :P

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So a few days ago Anna told me about the first chapter of Lolita, and how it was written from the perspective of a pedophile. It was creepin me out so I looked up a plot summary so I could know the context behind such a disturbing central character… didn’t help at all. The summary was morbidly fascinating and I was horrified the entire time I read it, I assure you. Ew. The guy marries a woman just so that he can get to her 12-year-old daughter Lolita, and when the woman reads his diary, she finds out. She runs as fast as she can to the authorities to show them the entries and get that pedo locked up, and SHE GETS HIT BY A CAR! Then he kidnaps Lolita and travels to some far-off place until a DIFFERENT pedophile kidnaps her. 5 years later he receives a letter from her that she’s pregnant and needs his financial support and he tracks her down, holds her at gunpoint until she tells him who the other pedophile is, and then finds him and kills him. Then, at the very end, Lolita DIES while giving birth to a stillborn child! AUGH. What a tragic story. Who comes up with these things?

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Grandpa: “Emily’s planning on wearing her new negligee to church tomorrow, and she said I could borrow one to wear, too”
Andrea: “…Did I just hear that?”
Everyone: “yeah, it’s normal.”

unbearably attractive.

2009-08-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

I just found these, thought I'd share the joy.

wind in my face

2009-06-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

I love riding. I think I'm going to be one of those weird (awesome) old biker grandmas because it feels so calming and yet so... exhilarating! haha. it's just so fun. I went riding with my dad after the Mexico meeting tonight. We went to the country and rode pretty slowy, since i didn't have a jacket on, and watched the sunset. It was amazing. I'm not sure why I said i wasn't a big fan of nature, because I totally am, and this was just incredible. we passed a tiny pond that was completely still; it was so glassy that it looked as if it were a gigantic mirror, with a perfect reflection of the pink sky.
I like having the wind in my face. But I always keep my helmet closed because I'm afraid a bug will run into my face. My fears were enforced tonight when a bug hit my arm and left a nasty little spot of guts... ew. anyways. I'm not sure why I even enjoy this sort of thing because road accidents (particularly road burn) are some of my biggest fears. Even when i'm safely buckled inside my family's enormous van, riding down the highway scares the crap out of me. And on a motorcycle, there are no seat belts, no protection against outside dangers. I'm so scared that one day I'll just fall right off and have to see my body all scratched up and bloody later. With as clumsy as I am, it really doesn't seem like an irrational fear at all...
REGARDLESS. I can't wait till I get my M-permit.

ps. my helmet is sexy.

Stay with me, the world is dark and wild

2009-04-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

The ashes of that dying explosion look like tears. I can’t appreciate the victory of my arachnid conquest because I am so distraught by your disapproval. Why does this happen so frequently? Can you possibly hold so much power over my emotional state that the shame of your doubt, no matter how small, underlies my triumph?

I had to do it.

2009-04-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

I searched my name on urbandictionary.com, and this was the least inappropriate and obviously most accurate of the results:

Emily

The cutest girl you can ever meet. Most emily's have the most beautiful eyes which if stared in to long you may lose track of time. They also have the nicest body and the cutest smile. Emily's are the cutest most beautiful girls you may ever get to know. If you know an emily then you are considered lucky they will never leave you and is always there for you and you can trust them no matter what. If you date an emily never let them go, they will be your best friend for life no matter what through thick or thin.
Guy1: is that a super model
Guy2: no thats just emily

Then I found this:

Emilyphobic

n. A chronic disease where one fears those named Emily. Especially prominent when the Emily in question makes suggestive moves on the Emilyphobic person.

Carson is Emilyphobic, therefore she does not approve of Emily constantly trying to lick her face.

I wish...

2009-04-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

I grabbed the hand of my best friend and squeezed it for half a second before emerging from behind the green velvety curtain. We shook our sassy little butts as we walked around singing mean things to our poor stepsister, and soaked in the laughter of the audience. Then it was over, and we flounced off stage.
Already I was exhausted, and, closing my tired eyes, I leaned on a table in the darkness as I listened to the next song. I was suddenly aware of the arm that had slipped around my waist, and I opened my eyes. His face was closer than I expected. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead, and whispered “good job”. I smiled back, but I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, a girl was standing there. Whaaaat? “I need your mic.” I hastily lifted layer after layer until I reached the mic on my tutu, and shoved it in her dress before she went onstage.
I looked back at the boy and he laughed a little too loudly. Covering his mic with my hand, I shot him a dirty look. I said with as much intensity as a whisper could hold, WHAT? “I got lipstick on your forehead.” …haha… That's something you just never expect a guy to say to you.
It was his scene, and I sunk into a nearby throne to wipe the gross man-makeup off my face and listen to his lovely voice. What a great song. “Agony! And it cuts like a knife… I must have her…to wiiiiiiife” I was pleasantly surprised at the well executed final note.
The rest of the show went by fast and surprisingly well, as compared to rehearsals, and although I felt ridiculous with all of my stage makeup still caked on, I was eager to find my family and friends in the audience. Mom and Dad were waiting for me with a group of my closest friends. More than one person asked me the same super lame joke “Were you even acting up there??” But I wasn’t offended.

What a great night.
I can only hope tonight will go as well.

The mouth of a wolf's not the end of the world.

2009-04-01T22:31:00.000-07:00

hi. i haven't blogged in a very long time. my life as of late is hectic and the only things i have to say are outrageously whiny. so i've temporarily abandoned my blog, but i will update more when things get back to "normal".

:)

Sick Sick

2009-03-04T22:15:00.000-08:00

Things that I would just love! :
- to not be sick
- the solo in choir
- to have a great birthday
- to go back to school with my work done for once

I was watching Sex & the City a few minutes ago and, well I think the show is dumb, but I did see a really cute part before I turned it off. So Carrie and Mr.Big (I think that's his name?) are standing on the courthouse steps and they are having a little argument but she REALLY has to go because she is late and they're both upset because they are starting their day off mad at each other and so Mr.Big is like "You know what, I think it's time for a movie star kiss" and then he swoops her down into his arms off the steps and kisses her and it was SO CUTE!

...or maybe I'm just delirious and don't know what I am even talking about. I'll probably reread this tomorrow and wonder what I was thinking when I wrote this. Ah, well. I'm not hot anymore. I feel perfectly fine, in fact. I'm sitting here in a tanktop, and I haven't gotten a chill yet. I don't want to go to bed yet because I know that when I wake up I won't feel as good as I do now, but my eyes are so tired... I will have to give in at some point.

I guess the only thing left to do is to play The Sims 2 until I get bored. This shouldn't take long.

PS. Marie cut my hair today! I think I like it. It's short, and flippy, and really soft! And it smells great. Anna says I look like a Japanese girl. Haha, whatever that means.

Daydreams

2009-02-18T15:35:00.000-08:00

Emily stood by the window, waiting for her mother to return from a long day of work, when a small animal caught her eye.
OMG A SQUIRREL, she thought.
She was fascinated and disgusted by this creature, and after studying him for a moment, she chose the name Rupert. She then determined to annoy the squirrel. She banged on the window with her fist, and Rupert, panicking, turned around wildly. Emily froze, hoping the curtain would camouflage her brightly colored tank top. Rupert ran across the porch and stopped, distracted by a nearby acorn and no doubt fantasizing about his dinner that evening. Now that she was in his peripheral vision, Emily made a deliberately sudden movement, and Rupert turned around for the second time, looking straight at her. She again froze, but this time was it was much more difficult because Rupert’s beady eyes bore straight into her heart, piercing through tendons and arteries to her very core. Those dark lovely eyes grew continually vibrant and Emily could no longer stand to be still. Her body was shaking uncontrollably with emotion, and suddenly she let out a heart wrenching cry.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
She grabbed a dense lamp and smashed through the barrier of thick glass, galloping at top speed towards Rupert. She scooped up the rodent and despite the clawing and scratching she managed to bring him close to her face, leaning in for a passionate kiss, when, without warning, a massive she-wombat dropped from the walnut tree. The beast had a murderous look in her eyes, and was headed towards Emily and Rupert. She kissed the squirrel hastily so that she could have her hands free to defend herself if needed, but was taken aback as Rupert began transforming. She dropped him, partly out of fear, and partly because he was becoming too heavy for her weak appendages. At this point he resembled a small monkey rather than a squirrel, but within seconds there stood before her a full grown, broad-shouldered, dazzlingly handsome young man. Emily was bewildered, but her attention was ripped away when she saw that the mammoth wombat was still approaching and only two feet away. The now devilishly handsome Rupert yielded a hefty Kubotan, slaying the beast with ease, and in one fell swoop he was standing on the roof with Emily in his arms.
My love! Rupert exclaimed, and Emily threw her arms around his neck in a tight embrace.
My prince! She whispered in his ear.
At that moment, Emily’s mother pulled into the driveway. Stepping out of the car, she peered up at the roof and held up a little white box of Chinese takeout, indicating that it was dinner time.
Kay, Mom! Bye Rupert, Emily said.
She kissed him on the cheek and jumped off onto the front lawn, heading for the house. Rupert blew her a kiss and dove into the bushes where he kept his beloved acorns.

Love.

2009-02-14T09:04:00.000-08:00

Today is Valentine’s Day.
I’m not exactly sure how I feel about that.
I have heard nothing but negative things about the holiday, and I’m wondering why... I mean, yes it is over-commercialized. But isn’t every holiday?
We don’t stop celebrating Easter and Christmas just because they are over-commercialized!
If you ask me, love is a great thing to bring attention to. Especially the non-romantic kind, although that isn’t necessarily a bad thing to celebrate either. ;)

overanalyzing as always.

2009-02-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

“I’m not a leader at all. I don’t know why I thought I ever could be. Why did I even join Lead team? I can’t do stuff like that.”

These types of sentences keep running through my brain. I’m constantly finding myself forgetting the real reason that I joined Lead Team in the first place: to BECOME that leader. I just can’t over the fact that I am such a follower. I try to blame it on my natural shyness, but I know that’s just an excuse. When it comes down to it, I know God could put the eloquence into me, but I am constantly relying on the wrong things. I’m very, very dependent. I take all of my cues from other people. When independence is forced on me, I don’t know what to do with myself. I compare myself to Moses a lot, because like me, he didn’t think he could talk in front of people. He did his best to convince God that he wasn’t meant for that sort of thing, but God told Moses that He would speak through him. And he did! God CAN help me. He can guide me through my transformation from a follower to a leader. I just need to put my trust in Him.

I also need to set my worries aside and rely on God concerning the Chicago trip… I’ve never been on a trip like this, and I won’t have my two best friends to hide behind this time. I doubt I will have to do anything extreme, but I’m still a bit apprehensive.

Please pray for me.

Good things.

2009-02-01T19:52:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the Super bowl party up at church. It was… a little boring, but I had fun. I didn’t watch more than 20 minutes of the game, haha.. Also, Tony was there which made me happy, because I like him a lot. I’m not sure if he had fun or not, but he seemed to fit in pretty easily and we played some games but nothing really worth mentioning.
My dad bought a motorcycle today. It’s not that amazingly cool one that he had set his eyes on, unfortunately. But it isn’t too bad. It’s a classic 1983 R8ORT BMW … it’s blue. Apparently he had the same exact bike back when it first came out. So that’s kinda cool I guess. I don’t care about the nostalgia factor, but I can live with it. I am most likely getting a bike later this year and I’m legally old enough to start now, although I think my dad’s bike is too big to learn on. But.. yay. I have been waiting for this for a very long time. I never thought it would happen for real.

11:11 wish * **** **** **** *** * ***** *** ** ***** *********** *** ******** *****

Ecstatic

2009-01-31T11:12:00.000-08:00

Jacob has a facebook; My life is complete ♥

Snow Day!

2009-01-27T21:50:00.000-08:00

We had a snow day today, yay! I’m especially thankful because I didn’t have a lot of my homework finished, and … let me just say, I fear the wrath of Ms. Ali and Ms. Serena. Also, I got to see Andy last night so I don’t miss him SO much, but it’s still a little bit of a downside.

I got to hang out with Anna & Julia today, and also Marie because (surprise) beauty school was canceled. : P

We did makeup, and hair. She’s so obsessed with hairspray and teasing now! It’s pretty funny, but also painful. For those of you weirdos who don’t know what teasing is, basically you just lift a section of hair, hairspray it, and then brush BACKWARDS from the end to the root. It looks like a mess at first but after you brush it back down you have extra volume and it’s really nice, especially if you have flat or thin hair. I’m pretty sure I have neither of those? But it’s still nice to have a bit of extra volume. Haha.

The bad thing about today is that I have the stomach flu. No upchucking YET (praise God), but it is still no fun.

ALSO! Ok this makes me happy. I fiiiinally played Halo 3 on Xbox Live. I kind of suck, a lot. But it was fun so maybe I’ll do it again… maybe.

;)

passionless.

2009-01-26T11:55:00.000-08:00

I love the idea of church: a family of believers gathering in fellowship to worship and gain a deeper understanding of God together. But the way that I’ve seen it executed is almost sickening. 200-300 people feel obligated to attend a 1.5 hour service, so they dress up in their “Sunday Best” and sit together in a pew. The worship team makes their way to the front of the church and leads the congregation in a song called “Grace Greater Than Our Sin”. The simple melody is sung “Grace, grace, God’s grace, grace that is greater than all our sin!” A few people raise their hands and the worship leader adlibs skillfully, but there in an undeniable lack of passion in the atmosphere. People in the audience are thinking,

“I wonder what restaurant we’ll eat at after lunch today.. I hope we go to Olive Garden.”

“Oh gosh, there’s a really cute guy behind me, I hope he doesn’t see when I pick my wedgie.”

“Why is he putting his hands up? OH RIGHT. I’M SINGING. I hope the person next to me can hear how amazing my voice is. I wonder if she notices all those years of training?”

WHAT!? Are you all completely STUPID?! Do you even recognize the words that are flowing from your mouths? You are singing about the grace of GOD, the creator of the entire universe, and you don’t even acknowledge the amazing love that is being conveyed!

It would be dishonest if I said that I always put my focus on God in these weekly sessions of worship, because I don’t. But as a whole, I see the congregation as so utterly passionless that it truly makes me sick to my stomach. I see it in my own family, and I can’t fathom how they can take the grace of God so lightly! Because to me, it is the most incredible thing anyone could ever comprehend, and there is no point in even showing up at church unless you plan on giving that time fully to God. Otherwise, it is just an event on your calendar.

Saturday.

2009-01-25T19:37:00.000-08:00

Erin played with the knobs on the overhead projector as she set it up on the disembodied van seat so that the focus was perfect. Emily stood very still, Starbucks cup in hand, as Ian traced her silhouette against the pasty white wall.

“Hey Em, put this hat on!”

Al tossed her a nearby hat. She started to protest knowing that it would look silly on her, but restrained herself as someone shoved it on her head. Ian continued tracing slowly and precisely, and Emily was careful not to breathe as the pencil strokes progressed down her stomach. Her arm was beginning to grow tired from holding the empty espresso cup to her lips for so long.

Anna snapped a few pictures and a grin spread across her face as she said “Wow, you sure look stupid standing like that!”

Emily instantly became self conscious as well as restless, and was happy to unfreeze when Ian had completed the drawing. She took a seat on a remarkably ugly sofa and watched as Kelli’s silhouette was traced, followed by Anna, and then Erin. Ian was the last person to be traced, and his boyish figure was projected much larger than the others to give a tasteful abstract appearance to the wall art.

Time passed quickly and soon it was time to leave. Everyone grabbed a few paintbrushes and the group made their way towards the utility sink. As they entered the kitchen, the senior pastor and his wife were sharing a sweet moment together before they rinsed the dishes from the party they had just attended in another wing of the church. When they were out of sight, Anna practically melted into a pool on the floor.

“Did you see that? They were holding hands!!!”

Every girl in the room simultaneously said “AWWWWWWW” and Ian half-smiled so as to show appreciation but not a loss of dignity.

One by one cars showed up at the front doors of the church, and one by one the nappy cherubs floated away.

a fictitious recital of events

2009-01-24T20:32:00.000-08:00

Anna opened the door wildly, anticipating the biting 19 degrees the weatherman had foretold that morning. Much to her surprise, there were four faces awaiting her: Ian, Emily, Andrew, and Harrison.

"Hi Annnna!"

Anna was so startled that after she let out a small yelp from the initial shock of the situation, she felt her bladder start to give way and she immediately slammed the door in the faces of her friends. She steadied herself on the table located just inside the doorway until she had things under control and after a few seconds she opened the door again.

"What the crap, guys! I thought we were hanging out at Emily’s. You freaking SCARED me."

Ian, the tallest of the four facing her, said "Well we were going to surprise you, but not THAT much. Also….. do you realize how COLD it is out here?”

“Oh! My bad. Come in. Harry, Andy, this is my…house. Yeah.”

After a hasty tour of the house and a kidnapping of Anna’s younger sister Julia, they set off to Emily’s house, which was just down the street. Harrison, who was the smallest of the group but not the youngest, wore only a sweatshirt and was shivering violently before they were even half way to Emily's house.

"MMMM Harry feel free to join me in my coat over here," Andrew tried to sound like a pedophile, and did a suspiciously good job. Harry took two very large steps away from him.

Soon they were climbing the steps of the Maxwell Residence. Ian yanked open the door, the first to step inside, and was greeted by the inviting scent of baking pizza…

Just a tiny bit of my January 23. I don’t feel like telling you the rest, so I'm gunna stop. Also, you should probably know that some of those details are inaccurate :P